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The Big 150: 24, Random – What were you afraid of most as a child?

Listen, y’all, even from a young age, I knew that FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real.


JUST KIDDING! I was a tiny little scaredy cat about a lot of things when I was a child. Please tell me you also were afraid of monsters under the bed. I remember making myself some pretty silly rules to keep myself safe from the imaginary monsters. For instance, as long as I was able to count to “five Mississippi” from the time it took me to turn off my light switch to then make it under the covers, I would be safe. Apparently “five Mississippi” is the maximum amount of time allotted before a monster can eat you.  Secondly, as long as I kept my blanket fully pulled up to just below my chin, concealing my entire body underneath it, no monster could get me. No, it did not matter that my head was visible and out in the world for all the monsters to see. Apparently monsters can only attack you from the neck down because, otherwise, how would you breathe? Monsters are terrible, but they’re not… monsters. I know, I know! The logic doesn’t work! But I was so young, you guys! And anyway, monsters under the bed are not real, so I think I’m okay!


Delving a little deeper, I’m sure there were some real things I was afraid of. I used to write and carve my name into places I wasn’t supposed to (sorry, Mom & Dad!). Whether it was the ‘Beauty & the Beast’ glow-in-the-dark lampshade that somehow had my name scratched onto it in black ink or the living room table – made of real wood - that all of a sudden had ‘Johny Walsh’ carved into it (which I also did with a pen and just pressed harder), I’m sure you could have psychoanalyzed me at the time and found a little girl who had a bunch of older half-siblings that were kids of divorce, spending time away from her with their other biological parents.


But, listen, I’m 34 now, and I personally don’t believe we can blame things on childhood forever. Once you grow up, you have your own autonomy and accountability and the right to live your life any way you choose (within reason… c’mon now - don’t be a murderer or a serial killer).  And as for my older half-siblings, the ones I have a relationship with are great! And the ones I’m not as close to are also great… but like any big group, oftentimes you get along with some better than others!


So, childhood fears.. they existed, they were real, but, ya know they’re not really real anymore.


To the silly monsters under your bed and how those fears are just in your head,


ICYMI: The Big 150


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