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how to better manage yourself

In my last post I discussed time management, the feeling of frustration from wasting time doing things you don’t want to do, the importance of making mistakes, and more importantly, the necessity of learning from your mistakes. All the things I touched on in my last post directly relate to the bigger picture of self-management.

How many of you out there think of yourself as a business? I know I do, especially because of my chosen career path. I’ve written before about not letting anyone put you in a box, and a lot of that thinking leads back to my “big three” of accountability, valuing time, and honesty. Living a creative lifestyle - and trust me, there is a lot of creativity in many desk jobs (helloooo accounting! talk about getting creative with numbers!) - requires a strong sense of discipline and self-management.

Time management becomes an easy task when you’re someone who’s able to self-manage. A personal example from my life would be auditioning. In the post I wrote on being value-driven, I mentioned I was the lead for the SAG-AFTRA feature “Quake Heroes.” How I ended up landing that audition and eventual role was because of internal motivation and self-management. I took the initiative and submitted myself to the role of “Buffy” because I felt I was a good fit for the character description. When I received the notice that I was welcome to come audition, I had to figure out my schedule that day so that I could accomplish everything I needed to accomplish in my personal life and work life in order to make that audition. And then, on top of that, I received a second, last-minute audition the same day. Fortunately, since I am able to manage my time, I was able to make both auditions, as well as two improv shows in which I was performing that night at UCB and at the Clubhouse. I was offered a smaller role from that last-minute audition and the lead in “Quake Heroes.” It was a pretty great, fulfilling Wednesday.

The reason everything comes down to self-management is because self-management has everything to do with being honest with yourself about your aspirations and not allowing any self-inflicted road blocks to get in your way. You have to hold yourself accountable to your dreams and goals and prioritize your goals over other areas of your life, assuming you really want to achieve the things you say you do. That’s a big part of growing up. No one owes you anything. No one is going to hold your hand and motivate you to pursue your dreams; if you really want the things you say you want, you’ll stop at nothing to make those dreams come true. That’s why I gave up my Saturday nights last year to work at UCB Theater - I knew it was what I wanted to do, so I leapt at the opportunity.

I had to cancel lunch with a friend that day when I had those two auditions, but you’ll find that other independent people pursuing their own careers in life don’t take things like that personally because they recognize it’s not personal. Other independent people will celebrate your successes and support you; conversely, people who take you following your dreams personally have issues with themselves that they need to address. Invest in yourself and the people who support you. As for the others - haters gonna hate. Let them. It’s a sign you’re moving in the right direction.

Self-management is really a question of priorities. If you’re not willing to work as hard as you can and make difficult sacrifices for your goals then how bad do you really want the things you say you want? If you’re not willing to swallow your pride and starve your ego, you probably don’t want the things you claim to want as badly as you say you do. It’s okay to change your mind in life, but if you do, it’s important to be honest with yourself about it. Your actions will speak much louder than your words.

I haven’t changed my mind about the things I want in life - just the opposite, in fact. My dreams have gotten bigger, and as those goals have grown, my self-management has only gotten stronger. When you know what you truly want out of life, it’s easy to prioritize.

So, for now, this is a good place to stop. Tune in Friday for my video blog recap of the past week, and until then, starve your ego and feed your soul! As always, if you have any pressing questions or if you want to discuss something further with me, feel free to subscribe below or reach out to me on the “contact” page. I’m so grateful that I’ve been getting a lot of really challenging questions and even better feedback from people all over the world. I couldn’t do this without you! I’m here for you, and I love hearing from you, too! You’re the best! Please believe it!

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