recognize the need to stay
There was a line of dialogue I heard last night in Game of Thrones that really stood out to me: “there’s a lesson in every failure.” I truly believe this train of thought. Growing up, I was taught that every experience you have in life is either a blessing or a lesson. And oftentimes, the lessons end up being the greatest blessings of all.
If you’re not failing, it means you’re not taking risks or trying hard enough to pursue something you love. About six months ago I went through something really hard that changed my views on a lot of things. I may not view things as idealistically as I once did, but that doesn’t mean I love life’s possibilities any less. Quite the contrary; having gone through something like that has really made me love the beauty of life that much more.
At my basketball game last night, my teammate’s mom asked me if I like LA. I answered as honestly as I could, which included a personal, anecdotal story. I admitted that it took me a really long time to like Los Angeles, but that it wasn’t really until about the three and a half year mark (which was this past May) that I really realized how much I do love it here.
Six months ago when I was going through a really hard time, I remember a conversation I had with my mom in which she asked me if I wanted to come home. She was giving me the opportunity to start over free of judgment and embarrassment. I will never be able to repay her for that offer because it was exactly the thing I needed at the time.
Needless to say, I didn’t move home. I stayed in Los Angeles because I knew that moving home would have been the easy thing to do. I knew what that life would have looked like for myself, but I always pictured something bigger. That vision might change along the way, but at this point in my life, it isn’t changing. I’m not the type of person who thrives living 20 minutes from her parents’ house. I love my family, and I very much believe in setting down strong roots, but I’ve always been an adventurer. Going and living away from home makes me appreciate the quality time of being home that much more.
I’ve written before that I feel happiest when I’m being productive, but it clicked with me recently that “productive” isn’t necessarily the most accurate word to use. I’m actually happiest when I’m being creative, which is my favorite brand of productivity. I even wrote a poem the other morning, which is something I hadn't done since October (and that poem prompted my best friend to even text and ask if everything was okay - it's amazing how the people who know you the best can see things you can't while you're in the thick of something).
And, creatively, I’ve failed a bunch of times - sort of. I believe that the truest form of failure is never trying. If you never try anything new and just keep playing out the same patterns of behavior, you’ll keep failing because there’s no potential for growth.
Life is all about growth and change - constantly working to better oneself. At the end of the day, each small change is a step towards a bigger change. I don't believe there are really any small things in life. The small things - the little moments - are actually what add up to be the big things.
Thank you so much for reading, and, as always, if you have any pressing questions or if you want to discuss something further with me, feel free to subscribe below or reach out to me on the “contact” page. I’m so grateful you're here and that I’ve been getting a lot of really challenging questions and even better feedback from a community all over the world. I couldn’t do this without you! So THANK YOU! I’m here for you, and I love hearing from you, too! You’re the best, and you have everything you need inside of you! Please believe it! Starve your ego, feed your soul - and follow your heart!