see the whole city, not just the postcard
Happy Monday! Last week I wrote about focusing on the people who show up for you in life and on finding common ground through shared experiences. I recapped my week in a video blog on Friday and shared a fun scene from one of Garage Band’s most recent musical improv shows. It’s been an incredibly fun weekend, but it’s nice to be back in the swing of things with the blog!
In my post on focusing on the people who show up, I wrote that my biggest motivator in life is love, and I attended a wedding this weekend that only reaffirmed my world view. During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom opted to do something a little different. They each made a list of their top three things they loved most about the other person. Needless to say, there were multiple things listed in each of the three bullet points, so neither the bride nor the groom were able to narrow down all the amazing things they loved about the other person to just three things. Some of the characteristics listed that stood out to me were loyalty, kindness, support, and acceptance.
And I think that’s how it should be when you love something or someone. I have so many friends in my life that I love, and for better or worse, I’m a hopeless romantic. It can get me into trouble sometimes because not everyone values the same things I do or sees the world the same way, but I wouldn’t change that about myself: that willingness to jump in and invest in another person. Hearing two people openly express how much they love each other and how excited they are to share a journey together is such a beautiful experience. I was so happy and honored to be a part of their story, and I realized that I’m also excited to find a love like that one day - a love where two people accept each other and don’t try to change each other. That sounds amazing and incredibly fun. Imagine finding someone who likes all the same fun things you like but also has their own, different life experiences that can help the two of you grow together - someone who loves you because of your quirks, not in spite of them. That’s the dream.
I also realized that if I were to plan a wedding for myself, I would want it to be low key, relaxed, and just a lot of fun and silliness - like an Elvis impersonator officiating the ceremony type of silliness. There would be lots of dancing, lots of laughter, and all the types of food you’d find at a ball park. And then I realized that if that’s something I think would be fun, I can’t wait to meet someone who will share and enjoy life’s silly little fun moments with me.
One of the readings during the ceremony was from a book called “Wild Awake” by Hilary T. Smith. The passage read, “People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn't know were there, even the ones they wouldn't have thought to call beautiful themselves.”
I realize this is a mushy-gushy post, but I’m a romantic at heart. Wednesday’s post is also going to be mushy, so sorry not sorry in advance. But like I said last week, that’s why people join communities where they feel like they can be themselves. My most solid friendships are the ones I have where we don’t try to change each other. We accept each other - flaws and all; we see the whole city, not just the postcard glimpse.
When you feel like you’re free to be yourself, your heart grows and fills with happiness. Those relationships that are loyal, supportive, kind, and accepting are magical. They’re deep pools that overflow with love and warmth, and I hope upon hope that everyone has relationships like that in their lives.
I heard both the bride and groom - on separate occasions at the wedding - exclaim how lucky they were to have met their match in the other person. I hope everyone finds someone like that one day. Love is the whole reason we’re here, and a whole lot of the world’s problems would be solved if there was more love and respect everywhere.
Thank you so much for reading, and, as always, if you have any pressing questions or if you want to discuss something further with me, feel free to subscribe below or reach out to me on the “contact” page. I’m so grateful you're here and that I’ve been getting a lot of really challenging questions and even better feedback from a community all over the world. I couldn’t do this without you! So THANK YOU! I’m here for you, and I love hearing from you, too! You’re the best, and you have everything you need inside of you! Please believe it!
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