The Big 150: 22, Random – What would you do if you won the lottery?
Oh boy oh boy, if I won the lottery, I’d say peace out to all you b*tches and go waste away on an island that I own, tanned and rested and alone, surrounded by enormous piles of moneyyyy.
Okay okay, “Tangled” song references aside, I would not go waste away by myself on an island like some kind of tropical Ebenezer Scrooge (tempting, though it may be). My partner and I actually ask each other this question all the time since we really never buy lottery tickets unless the jackpot is over a billion, which is probably, statistically-speaking, the worst odds of all because that’s when everyone who doesn’t play the lottery decides to suddenly take a chance (just like us).
The first time he asked me the question, I responded that I would first find both a lawyer and a financial advisor before I told anybody I’d won the lottery. After getting my ducks in a row, I would pay off any debts my parents or I may have, I would buy a modest €150,000 one bedroom flat I saw for sale in Dublin as a vacation getaway crash pad, I would purchase a home in Cork because that is my favorite place in the world, and I would then invest the rest of my money into various pursuits, as well as donate to charity.
My answer was apparently not sufficient as I cannot comprehend just how much money $1 billion happens to be. I feel, though, it is not my fault that I cannot reasonably comprehend that amount of money, but I was then told that for $1 billion, I could purchase the Philadelphia Flyers. So, ladies and gents, my plan has changed.
Should I win the $1 billion lottery because, realistically, I’m not buying lottery tickets unless it’s $1 billion or more, I shall be purchasing the Philadelphia Flyers professional ice hockey team of the NHL so that I can finally bring a Stanley Cup to Broad Street. Yes, I didn’t say “back to Broad Street” because the Flyers have not won a Stanley Cup in my lifetime (though that loss in Game 7 versus Chicago on the dumbest goal I have ever seen is burned into my brain forever).
After purchasing my very own NHL team, I will probably make money? I don’t know. I’m not really sure how any of that would work, but if you have doubts, refer back to the very first thing I said I would do, which I feel establishes a level of intelligence and ability-to-figure-it-out on my part (i.e. find both a lawyer and a financial advisor before I told anybody I’d won the lottery). I'm a planner, y'all. I love to plan.
So, in this beautiful, hypothetical scenario, get ready Philadelphia. I’m bringin’ us a Cup, baby.
To winning the lottery and landing on my feet and to the glorious Bullies of old Broad Street,
ICYMI: The Big 150
17, Relationships - What traits and habits do your parents have that you don’t want to adopt?
18, Self - What did you want to be growing up? Why?
19, Random – What thought has been getting the best of you lately? WGA strike and AMPTP
20, Life – What do you appreciate most about your life right now? Why?
21, Relationships – If someone has hurt you in the past, write a forgiving letter to them.