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The Big 150:27, Self – Describe a time you felt lonely.


The Big 150:27, Self – Describe a time you felt lonely.

 

I think this is a really important prompt, seriously. I think that everyone feels lonely. Not all the time, obviously, but loneliness is a human experience. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who has never felt lonely at any point in his/her life. If you do find someone who says they’ve never felt lonely, well, that person is either lying to you or is an imaginary friend. No judgment on the imaginary friend part, I had one as a kid… probably because I felt lonely! Hey-oh. Brought that right back. Impressive, right?

 

Jokes aside, there have been plenty of times in my life where I have felt lonely. I’ve traveled a lot of the world by myself, and loneliness can go hand-in-hand with solo-travel. Loneliness can rear its head in a number of ways – there’s the obvious ‘I’m alone and wish someone was here with me’ or the ‘man, I wish I could share this incredible travel moment with someone’ or even the little moments of sadness or yes, sometimes tears, when you live alone.

 

But loneliness – that feeling – I think it can be a gift in some ways. Loneliness can remind you that you are a human being who is wanting connection with someone else. When I started thinking about loneliness in that way, it reminded me that I could pick up the phone and call a friend or a family member to catch up. Loneliness can help us reconnect with loved ones and fill our cups back up with their love.

 

I was in Ireland, visiting and staying with one of my closest friends and her husband (as I try to do as often as possible because I love them and they are both so wonderful) when I was off by myself on a walk, seeing some site I hadn’t managed to see while I lived there when a pang of loneliness hit me out of nowhere. Now, having traveled by myself as much as I have, I might have an easier time picking up the phone to ward off some of that loneliness than some people might have. It’s a skill that can be learned – practice makes progress after all!


A woman standing in front of a spiral staircase.
Selfie at Kilmainham Gaol (my hair's so long!)

Anyway, I picked up the phone to call my boyfriend to tell him I was feeling a little lonely, which – of course – he was surprised to hear because I was in Ireland! And wasn’t that awesome? And, yes, it absolutely was, but I was also missing him and wanting to share in the experience with someone I loved. So then I proceeded to tell him everything I saw and learned about Kilmainham Gaol and he proceeded to tell me about his day so far (since I was so far ahead of him time-wise), and the loneliness subsided.

 

That’s it, right? Loneliness is only a feeling. It comes and it goes, and it doesn’t stay nearly as long if you give yourself the antidote: company. I’m a human being, and if you’re reading this, you’re a human being, too (unless you’re AI, but if you are AI, I doubt you ever feel lonely because you are NOT a human being). So, you beautiful human being reading this, it’s okay to feel lonely sometimes. It doesn’t make you weird or broken or any sort of negative thing you want to call yourself. It makes you human. We all feel lonely. Next time you’re feeling lonely, give yourself an antidote. Call a friend or family member, fire off a group chat text. Find connection. It’s out there, and there are people who want to give you that antidote – they probably need it, too.

 

To Huey Lewis & the News being a gift from above, and that’s the – that’s the power of love,

Johny


ICYMI: The Big 150

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